Ahmad Fathi - I Want You Now

I Want You Now

When I was lost in the rain
Surrounded by dreadful pain
You were there waiting
Looking at me whilst smiling.

I couldn’t bear but shed tears
Contemplating about the years
When I treated you so badly
But you treated me gently.

Every time sadness loom
All I could see is ebony fume
But a sweet smile from you
Lighten my darkest day through.

Every body wants to be the sun
That lights my life when I can’t
But you’d rather be the glittering star
That shines even during my darkest era.

Not to love you is a pain
A feeling that is a bane
I didn’t have you previously
But now I want you for eternity.

Life at TRACOM for this week

Monday 31/1/2005
Today is a very long day. In the morning, we had this super long talk about religious and racial harmony. My spine really hurts when sitting on the floor for so long, almost 3 hours. Nothing much really because all these religious and racial stuff have been taught to us since we were young. PAP's political tool. Like duh! In the afternoon, we had T-baton course and it was really fun except for the warm up in which we had to do numerous number of knuckle push-ups. I got injured while doing the cross draw of the T-baton. The feeling of being winded for the 1st time was awesome. Haha. I got blister on my right palm & it was irritating. I went to Hui Sien, my dojo instructor, for medical attention and she attended to me. She is so cute & she reminds me of Nina Liana, my ex-steady. Haha. Sigh! I miss her so much. Well, what can i do? I'm a fat and ugly man now! We had this mass-calistechnic session later in the late afternoon & i couldn't do it because i've got abbression in between my groin. Ouch! The attention i get after the rugby tournament was superb but at times irritating. Romeo, the malay officer in-charge of the mess and who is also a former Saint, kept teasing me each time i'm reporting for my meals infront of the mess. Haha. Some people, like my squad mate whom me nicknamed Buddha, idolise me but have they not seen the best rugby player in Singapore? I'm not that good at all. There's always room for improvement. I'll try my best to make it to Singapore Reds. Insha-allah!

Tuesday 1/2/2005
Today is a very fun day i guess. We had mass-cal in the morning & after that, we had breakfast. After breakfast, we went to watch a vignett with our OC & it was rather interesting & educational. After that, we went for swimming lesson. Gosh, it's akward wearing a swimming trunk. Guess what? Since i don't know how to swim using breast stroke, maybe because i only know how to stroke breasts, i was categorised under Category C. It was embarassing for a guy whose father and ancestors are islanders who used to live on water. I can smim but only with free-style. We learned how to save drowning victim using a rope, a stick and a float. It was darn boring! After swimming, we had PT and since FI Mohd Noor wasn't around, FI Daniel took over him. His PT lesson was fun eventhough his interval training was taxing. The endurance exercise was exhilirating. We had to carry our partner using the fireman lift and also piggy back. Guess what? I've to carry a 90kg plus monster named Benjamin the Ah Pui. Hahaha. Sorry Ben, i was just jesting! He is super heavy but i managed to carry him. Phew! After dinner, we attended thsi super long talk by SSI2 Leo Augustus. It started at 7.00pm and ended at 10.00pm. Fuck him lah! What a long winded speech. He was talking about sentry. Sigh!

Wednesday 2/2/2005
My squad is the only squad in Echo coy that Panther condemns, We are forever late & most of us are unfit, excluding the rugby players. :p We oftern become his object of conversation and criticism. Kavi & a few others came down late and so Kavi thought that by going to the OB office through the back way was safe. He was eventually caught. How stupid can a man be? I'm not against Indian, but why must Panther and Kavi show me the ugly side of Indian, I'm not racist & infact, i like Indian girls or girls who have a bit of indian blood in them. Same goes to the Malays in my squad. They are portraying the ugly side of the Malays especially Zul and Khalis. I can't stand them. I hate the Malay people especially the Mats in Malaysia and Singapore, but i hate never detest Malay, my race. Infact, i'm proud to be a Malay. I hope the malay squad mates can change their stupid mindset. In the afternoon, we were suppose to have a lesson on law but too bad our OC didn't come because he was on MC. He should have called us ealier. Gosh! We slept in the class for 2 hours waiting for him. After class, we have a drill lesson conducted by FI Daniel. For each mistake we made, we have to do 10 push-ups under the baking hot sun. The parade square was fucking hot so much so that by doing push-ups on in, it can burn your palm and so it did! Today's rugby training was it was cut short due to the 1st Aid class. We played touch rugby and after that, we were suppose to have a team run but too bad, i can't continue because of the night class. I got injured during the touch game because i landed flat on my ass. The muscle around my ass area hurts like fuck. Sigh!

Thursday 3/2/2005
Benjamin and I didn't go to mass-cal because of our injuries. I'm suffering from muscle swelling around my ass and shin spilt. Thus, we reported ourselves to the Transport office. We reported sick and have to wait at the transport office before being taken to Toa Payoh Polyclinic. At the polyclinic, we went to register our names and after that, knowing that the service is fucking slow, we went to the nearby coffee shop to eat, drink and buy cigarettes. Ben ate Mee Poh and i drank my favourite hot baverage, Teh Katai Pua Seo. Haha. Ben and me got a stupid mofo doctor who thinks that we were lying just to get MC. Fuck him! All i got was 2 days light duty. After being treated, we went back to TRACOM. Our days were spent on individual beds. I spent the whole day sleeping because i felt drowsy after consuming the pain killer. At night, FI Robin came down to Echo coy to do water parade. He separated my squad into 2 groups, the smokers and the non-smokers. He asked the smoker whether we had any cigarettes with us and so i confessed. He ordered me to fall out and questioned me. He told me the repercussion of possesing cigarettes and told me to choose which punishment i would want to get. Either the SPF's punishment or his own punishment. I told him that i would rather face his punishment since i guess it's lighter than SPF's. Guess what, he told us that his punishment is that all the smokers take out their ciggies and then he want us to smoke together with him in the toilet. Muahahaha. Phew! He's one of the best instructors i've met so far in TRACOM. Too bad he couldn't smoke with us because our toilet isn't large enough to accomadate 10 smokers. Haha. After the 'water parade', we smoke in our barracks and i was smoking on my bed happily. Ben and me made this hilarious video. Using his camera phone and my digicam, we captured a clip about me suddenly turning into a monkey. It was very funny. Haha!

Friday 4/2/2005
Firday was boring. What i've done in the morning was to sleep because of the pain killer. I couldn't attend the mass-cal due to injury. I slept from 7am to 9am. After that, i got dressed up to go to class as the OC will be teaching about sentry and warrant card. It was infact a boring day. At 4, after our weapon class, i went straight to the field with all my used clothes in my bag and rugby gears. Today, we have a friendly match with team JJC. JJC Rugby Team had a friendly match first with Spring Field in which they lost with a score line of 2 tries to 1. My juniors sucks man. After battling with Spring Field, JJC had to fight us. Basically, for Police Under 20 Rugby team, JJC is a no challenge for us. Eventhough our team was just assembled this Wednesday with a lot people who doesn't know how to play rugby that well, we managed to beat and thrashed JJC. I played along side Suhaimi and i saw with my on eyes how he crashed one of my juniors. It was fantastic. Muahaha. It was a 1hr match where there are 2 halves. I played in the sencond half as an inside center and it sucks. I really want to play as a forward but couldn't because Cik Rosman doesn't allow so. Sigh! After that, Aidil, other rugby players including cik Selamat, cik Amran, cik Man and etc, and me went to Adam Rd to eat and enjoy ourselves. Drinks was on cik Selamat. Reached home at about 12 mid night.

Saturday 5/2/2005
Didn't do much today. I intend to go back to JJC to help coach with the white board session but too bad i was damn tired. My bunk mates and I decided to have lunch at Fish & Co, the branch near Plaza Singapura. It was my first time eating there and i swear i'll return to have my meals there. The food was superb. Ben and me ordered fish and chip and it was delicious. Cal ordered Sea Platter for one and Nori didn't order any food except for ice latte. He said he wasn't hungry. My side order was muscles cooked in butter cream. Yum yum. Maybe i should bring my old mates to Fish & Co some day. After that, me and Cal went to PS's arcade together as Ben couldn't make it because he has a date with his girlfriend. On our way to PS, we saw Jamie Yeo and she made me drool. She's drop dead pretty. Wow! Too bad she's married! Haha. After playing at the arcade, Cal and me walked about at Orchard Rd and we went to Bits & Pieces at Wisma Atria to meet up with Cal's friend, Ivan. The ornaments and jewellery at Bits & Pieces were nice. I want to buy a ring there. When will i get my next allowance. I'm waiting! Hehe.

Sunday 6/2/2005
Didn't do much too today. Woke up at 10am and then went to Sheng Shiong to buy stuff for book in. Met a pretty girl at a caffee and decided to have a drink there. Too bad didn't have the opportunity to speak to her because she was doing her work as her colleague was taking 5. Gosh! Anyway, yeps, i have to book in today and this time around, all rugby players can book in before 12 mid night. This is something good. Yippie! Hope you guys enjoy my poem above. Till we meet again. Adios!