CRIPPLER'S LAIR

Only God Can Judge Me

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Disarray

I really don't know what to do already. My life is in a mess. Firstly, i am in a dire financial situation. Lastly, my studies are going no where. I feel like calling it a quit. I want to work first and be financially stable and then resume study again next year at UniSIM but as full time student. Life's so fucked up for me. Some times i feel like breaking down but my spirit tells me to hang on. I have just quit my part time job just now as a field surveyor. I seriously can not work with supervisors who are hypocrites and unprofessional. I feel like migrating too. Life here is not conducive for living especially if you want to live a comfortable life. In addition to that, it is expensive and not suitable to start a family here. I am not a quitter but some times in life, you have to make decision. If the situation is not in your favour, follow the prophet's advice. He encourages you to migrate and move on. Fight for your bowl of rice else where. There's nothing wrong with it. He even encourage us to do business. God bless him forever. I miss Jeanie so much but what can i do? She is so far away. I called her the other day during lunch time and she was so happy to hear my voice. She said that her mom questioned her why i have not been calling her and she answered by saying that maybe i am busy at the moment. Oh boy. I must get her mom's blessing first and also my mom's. Haha. Veronica Jeanieta Raturosari. That name keeps reverberating in my mind. Oh boy, i am so hopeless when in love. Wakaka! Anyway, Cik Slemat called me just now persuading me to play rugby again and join the current Police Rugby squad for the upcoming league in September. I told him that i am in no shape to play rugby again but he insisted and he said he will push me for my fitness. What can i do? I have to repay his kindness after what he had done for me all these while. I will be starting training next week. All for you Cik Slemat. Hell, the league will be in fasting month. Oh boy! Today marks my 1 year after passing my 2B traffic police test and i can discard the P-plate. Hehe. Thinking of taking up 2A but not at the moment due to the financial crisis. I have already four bike in mind. Honda XR400, Suzuki DRZ400, Honda Fireblade and Royal Enfield Bullet Machismo. Wohoho. I will most probably get Honda XR400 as a utility bike and i love scrambler. Oh well, i will be going to UniSIM tomorrow for deferment and i hope they allow such move but i need to discuss with my dad first and that is the hardest part. How can you expect your son to be close to you when you 'iron fist-ed' him when he was small. Of course the respect for him is there but so too is the trauma. Haha. But i must thank him too for being tough and strict with me because if it wasn't for him, i might be soft today. Aight..gotta go..

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