CRIPPLER'S LAIR

Only God Can Judge Me

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Suffering In Pain

My IMF duty is finally over but i'll be missing Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Gosh, there were so many Japanese and Korean girls streaming in and out of the ferry terminal. Apparently, their favourite place to go is Bintan and to Bintan i shall go. Haha. But what do i do there? I don't even know what Bintan has to offer. Sea sports? Trekking? The last time i went to Bintan was with JJC on some leadership camp. We stayed at a resort's camping area and we were not given the opportunity to travel around at all on our own. Thus, we couldn't explore Bintan. The Not To Land (NTL) team of mine ended our duty yesterday on a high note. We were treated to a good buffet lunch by commander of G Division in a VIP room at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal (TMFT). It was delicious. There's black pepper prawns, prawn and egg salad, fried chicken, satay, rendang, manggo pudding and many more which i forgot. During the lunch session, after the commander of G Division had left, we shared some real time stories of our adventures with the commander for NTL. I was involved in our of the worst situation ever at TMFT. It was raining heavily last Sunday and the sea was choppy and the wind was strong since that morning. The waves were a bit big too. Then just before dawn, two ferries docked at two pontoons. Mimi, a reservist, was on patrol and he came upon a difficult situation. Passengers from a ferry have difficulty alighting from the ferry to the pontoon because of the stormy weather. Some SCC guys where there to help but they do not know what to do. Thus, Mimi led them to alight all passengers. This process is pain-staking and damn slow. They have to alight passengers one at a time. The ferry wobble up and down violently. There were two mishaps. One old lady rolled backwards in the ferry and a pregnant lady fell down. It was damn bad. Things seemed to get out of hand but Mimi managed to call me through the Matra set. I came as a 2nd Police Officer at the scene and it was damn chaotic. We managed to do crowd control as well as alighting of passengers. One american lady was very grateful for our kindness. What Mimi and I did were not taught in HTA or TRACOM. We were just doing extra service. Mimi and I provided the same service for another 2 ferries after which Mimi decided to go back to the Ops room, leaving me behind with Munaf and Sazali to deal with 2 other ferries. This is what policemen should do and not 'ball sucking'! There were many funny incidents as well and one of them is involving a man from Middle-east. He has just landed at Changi Airport and he boarded a taxi to go to his hotel. He was in conversation with the taxi driver and he was talking about Singapore being clean, green and systematic and then he suddenly said the word 'finish'. The taxi driver was petrified and he quickly made his way to the TMFT with the Arab guy in his cab, knowing that there's police prescence at TMFT. When he reached the terminal, he quickly informed the police. Two police officers from the TMFT Police Post brought the guy to see the PID officers and the Arab guy were interviewed. After interviewing, the guy was found 'clean' and he was later released. I think it was just some misunderstanding between the taxi driver and the Arab guy. Haha. Damn. I am going to miss TMFT. However, this duty had made me gained 4 kg. We were on stand-by most of the time and thus, we would eat, drink, sleep, smoke and more sleep. We were on prowling at times. Today i am having my day off and gosh, i have to get back to office tomorrow. I want to cry. How i wish tomorrow would be ORD. I am left with 11 months and 16 days to ORD. Sigh! I don't want to do office work lah actually. Not my forte. And office politics is killing me. I can't work with people who suck balls too. I just detest them. Furthermore, my NS pay is damn too little and i have to pay for lots of stuff. Not fair for me! Novena is too far away from my house and i have to pay $60+ a month for bus concession. If i work at HTA, i can save $60 on bus concession because i can cycle to HTA. Then there's hand phone bill. Then there's instalment fee for iPod, $50. Driving license fee is also killing me. Then what do i eat with so little money? Shit? Fuck lah! My back is also suffering. I've got some lower back problem from playing sports. It is really painful to sit in the office in a cold air conditioned room. Painful it is but what can i do? Just sit and keep my mouth shut in pain. I want my NS experience to be a pleasant one but look at where i am now? In the office suffering. How i wish i could transfer to another division. But whatever it is, i will still serve my department with pride and dignity, without 'ball sucking'. Aight, I want to rest today...

Friday, September 08, 2006

Change Is The Only Constant

Recently, i read about this article about maids being treated badly. Firstly, they were cramped inside this abandoned clinic owned by this doctor who has another clinic a few units away. Secondly, the maids were not given enough food, drink, space and proper sanitation. What a pity because this shows yet another ugly side of Singaporeans. The Indonesian maids look up to us because they believe that we can give them a better life, not that they like it, by working for us as maids. They are really in need of cash. I am sure most of them are sincere at working as maids but why must we mistreat them? They trust us and yet we treat them as third world people. They are after all humans, just like us. Why then do we still do all these stupid behaviour? Easy! Because we think we are superior than them. We think we have a higher standard than them. We always think that we are their employers and employers have the the power over the maids. We, Singaporeans, are just egoistic. You want proof? Just look at my cousins and aunties. I know they are nice people but they often believe that every thing that they do are right. Some times, without them realising, the things that they do might raise eyebrows. They reprimand the maids like as if the maids wanted to do the mistakes deliberately. From what i know, my cousins and aunties never or seldom give the maids weekend breaks. So cruel! Don't they know that their family is actually handicapped? The maids made their family complete. Yet, they still mistreat the maids. Don't get me wrong! My aunties and cousins are not bad people. It is just their ignorance that handicapped them. This is human tendency. People like to mistreat others when they feel superior. This is social ill, a plaque just like hypocrisy ( i won't go into this again as it makes my blood boils). Singaporeans need to wake up. My attachment at Golf Division is fun and boring at the same time. Fun because i have the opportunity to waste time and September seems to go pass very quickly. Boring because the NTL team over there is just on stand-by. We are there to escort suspected rioters or demonstrators and ensure that safety is taken care of. We usually sit at AETOS Operation room and all i did all these while were to sleep, eat, smoke and after a couple of minute, do some foot patrol. Haha. Damn slack. I am gaining weight fast. What irritates me is Gerald, my colleague from SIRD. When he talks, his face will be full of arrogance, like as if he knows everything in the SPF. Oh please! I've been in the SPF longer than him. It is not just that. He talks irritatingly big infront of all the reservists. C'mon on! They are more experienced than him! Newbies (mangkuks), including Gerald, are all yayapapayas. They are so enthusiastic about NS. They are nuts! It is not that i hate him or what but he is plain irritating especially when he talks. Sigh! We played some soccer last Sunday and it was fantastic. We played in Jurong in one of the street soccer court and managed to beat two Chinese teams. I think most of them were from Army because all wore some military training vests. We beat those army guys! Yah. My team looked sharper this time around. Our passing still needs improvement but it seems that we have improved our understanding. We seemed to moved the ball more confidently but our shooting were a bit off. I took a couple of hard pot shots every where on the court but most hit the post or the wood work. Unlucky! I need to improve on my dribbling as well. Sian! Anyway, i had a brief conversation with my friend, Joey, from the SPF,. She also agreed that SPF needs 'ball carriers'. Haha. At least i have got a support. It has been a while since i last chatted with her. Good to hear from her. She is on duty as well for IMF. Hmm, i still think it is a bit lame to do demonstration indoors. Not professional at all even though safety is assured for Singapore. Damn dumb! Other countries will laugh at us but will we be bothered by their laughter? I don't think so. There are two types of people in this case. Firstly, there are some Singaporeans that acknowledge the people's laughter but ignore it because they have other better things to do and the other type of Singaporeans are those ignorant fuckers. But whatever it is, some Singaporeans still sucks! Whatever! Sigh. This whole period is really taxing for me. Damn tired! I think i would want to take some time off to rest after the IMF. Hey hey, guess what? My favourite month of the year is coming. Ramadhan. I always like fasting month and don't ask me why. It brings tranquility and peace of mind to me. I hope this the Ramadhan for this year will be great. Time to repent. Keep changing. There's no constant except change for the only constant is change (if you know what i mean). Aight. Have a nice September guys!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Pride, Honour & Dignity

I detest people without pride, honour and dignity and at the same time they too show hypocrisy (i don't give a damn abt the spelling!). Lately, i upgraded my Pes Status, from C to B and i am eligible to be promoted from SC to CPL to SGT. However, i am supposed to get my SAR signed by my Director but it seems like he don't want to sign it. It is because of this White Crow. He told Director that i was damn lazy in the Pandora Exercises and i disobeyed his order. Director knew my presence in the exercise and he obviously knew that i can't do much because i have not gone for the 3G course. Totally not my fault. What i detest is that this White Crow added fuel to the fire. He must have told Director that i was lazy and didn't take orders from him. Firstly, his orders were most of the time nonsensical and outrageous. Secondly, he didn't use much of his brains because if you can take short cut, why do u have to take long cut? Right? If you have the number of the driver of the TAV, why do you have to go all the way to the TAV to call the driver? Right? Common sense. If he do not want to sign my SAR, so be it. I am sure my father would glad to sign my SAR and he could proudly say that at least his son, SC Ahmad Fathi bin Mansor, have donned the uniform proudly and did his job with pride without 'sucking balls'. Firstly, the sucker is obviously without pride and dignity because he have to result to sucking balls in order to earn points. So shameful! Secondly, the guy whose balls are being sucked is also another moron. Don't he have pride too? Why let a guy suck your balls? Is he some sort of a gay? What i'm trying to say here is why do you encourage your workers to pick up or use such dirty tactics to earn points? Why can't people be like my direct boss? He earned his rank through hard work. But at times he also creates unnecessary work for others but at least i like working with and for him. I can kow tow to him. I really respect that type of leader. Lead by example! I really don't care about promotion because i am not a regular officer. It doesn't affect me that much. 2 years of service and i'll fuck off. That White Crow picked the wrong guy to fuck with. No matter how high of a rank he gets, he got to know that what goes up must come down! Nothing beats the law of gravity. Let me make this clear, i will stick with my principle which is no ball sucking. I don't have to resort to such stuff. I can be a nice guy but if you mess with me without any reason, you will know the consequences. If i am going down, i'm bringing someone with me. An eye for an eye.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Section 5(1) Employment of Foreign Workers Act (Chapter 91A)

Yesterday was a disappointing day for JJC Malayganstars Football Club. Sian! We lost to a team who beat us with a score of 4-1. Our defence was in disarray and it was actually shameful to lose in that fashion. We could have done better actually but i don't blame my guys. We don't train at all and during most matches, new people would join us. Thus, there'll be no chemistry amongst us. Well, at least i scored the only goal for my team. The opponent's last man had the ball in his possesion and he didn't want to clear it early. So, i gave a slight tackle and managed to intercept the ball from him. I dribbled a bit and soon found out that i was mano-a-mano with the goal keeper. I positioned my body to the right like as if i was going to kick to the right and i finished it with a ball to the left. The goalie was tricked. I had couple of good chances but i squandered them away. My shooting was off on that day. Sigh! Today is a hectic day. I had to return to the office to do some work. I have to do a report for my AD and had to do some in-house cleaning of administrative work before i proceed with my attachment with Golf Division. Today, we did some enforcement check as well and it was one hell of an experience. We arrested a security guard under Section 5(1) of the Employment of Foreign Workers Act (Chapter 91A), i think so, for working without a working permit at one of the Courts branch. She was damn honest. She told us straight off that she do not have a working permit and we brough her straight to the operation room of Courts and contacted the Echo Police Division. Two police officers arrived 20 to 25 minutes later, maybe their FRC do not have clutch pedal, and soon they made an arrest. My AD told me to hop on to the Kampung Java's Fast Responce Car (FRC) and it was damn cool. My first ride in an actual FRC. Yahoo! There was this Woman Police Officer (WPO) and she was damn chatty. Nice to chat with her though but i can't remember her name. Damn cute. She is a staff sergeant but she called me Sir. Haha. Damn cool! We chatted during the journey and until we reach the Report Lodging Room. Haha. Yeap. I did an overtime today. i worked from 11am to 7pm. Sigh! I have to report to Bedok Police HQ to undergo a briefing for my attachment. At last i can have a feel of my dream vocation, NPCO. I hope it will be interesting.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Ahmad Fathi - Di Mana Engkau Cinta?

Di Mana Engkau Cinta?

Bila ku lihat langit di waktu malam
Di mana bintang berkelipan
Bulan mengambang
Cahaya bersinaran
Aku sedar hatiku memerlukan sesuatu
Sesuata yang selama ini ku cari-cari
Bukan ongkos
Bukan hadiah
Tetapi cinta
Di mana engkau cinta?
Perlukah aku menjerit namamu
sedangkan aku tahu jeritanku di dalam sepi?
Tiada sesiapa yang tahu
Tiada sesiapa yang peduli
Perlukah aku mencari dirimu
sedangkan aku tahu engkau bagaikan
sebutir bintang diantara beribu?
Mustahil dicari
Mustahil dilihat
Tetapi aku yakin akan kewujudanmu
Aku akan menunggu walaupun seribu tahun
Masa kubuatkan kawan
Lesu kubuatkan lawan
Tetapi kini, ku hanya mampu melihat awangan
Sambil menunggu
Menunggu
Dan menunggu.

[translation]

When i look at the ebony sky at night
Where stars sparkle
Where the moon glows
Where the ray shines
I realise my heart needs something
Something that i have been searching for
Not money
Not presents
But love
Where are you love?
Do i have to shout your name
when i know that i am in vacuum?
No body knows
No body cares
Do i have to search for you
when i know that you are a star amongst million?
Impossible to find
Impossible to see
But i am sure of your existence
I will wait for you even for a thousand years
Time will be my friend
And restlessness my foe
But now, i can only look at the ebony sky
While waiting
Waiting
And waiting.